From GabeHave you ever wondered what God is doing, or what He's thinking? Well, I do all the time. If you don't, then we need to talk, because one of us is doing something horribly wrong. I don't mean the second-guessing kind of wondering, though I mistakenly do that from time to time as well. The fact is, in the last several months (years?) I find myself wondering a lot. And I think God laughs and shakes His head as He wonders, "does
he really think he'll ever understand me?"
I am cursed to be an analyst. In my years as a "software professional" (which sounds much more impressive than it is) this curse looked like a blessing. But in other areas of life it is exactly what it is: a curse.
A little while ago, my friend Mark "The Shark" migrated with his "school" to cooler waters (literally and emotionally), and I still find myself profoundly sad. You see, Mark has the dubious honor of being one of the few people in my life who "gets" me. What that says about Mark is probably not
germain to this particular post, and may someday show up elsewhere (no promises, no threats). What it says about me is, of course, what matters. That's because, if blogs serve no other purpose, they are wonderful
exercises in self-reflection, self-expression and, well, to put it bluntly, self-
absorption. And so, let's talk about me...
Seriously, though, I am sad about Mark's leaving, even if it is "the right thing." I miss our Tuesday mornings at the Medallion and then Veteran's Park by The Bridge. I miss his mysterious appearances at our door for no reason other than to say, "Hey, God told me you needed to be reminded He loves you..." I miss his amazing example of faithfulness, handling living on support so much more gracefully than I do. We became friends so fast, the way people do only when they pray honestly together. And the impact he has had on my life will last forever.
So, as this "force" in my life has moved on, I find myself wondering, again, what is God doing? And then I think about Phil
Vischer. And jellyfish. Well, isn't that what you think about? Specifically, I think about what he observed about jellyfish. They can't really propel themselves, except a little up and down. They move with the current. They
rely on the current to take them where they need to go, and for nourishment. I imagine the jellyfish never questions the current. He probably doesn't ever critique the current. I am quite certain the jellyfish actually never contemplates the current. He just depends on it, and embraces it and accepts it as the gift that it is.
Lucky jellyfish.
Then again, jellyfish don't need friends like Mark "The Shark" either. Maybe I'm the fortunate one after all, even if it means I'm cursed to question.